What is Running?
Millions of years ago, the human body form as we know it today, was on the evolutionary horizon. Around two million years ago, as the world and the ecosystems around us continued to evolve, our bodies required more protein to develop bigger brains to become a smarter and more superior species, so, we began hunting prey. Our method was simple.
Chase the prey until it became too exhausted to flee. Or scout out where the vultures were circling and race to scavenge the carcass before another beast lay claim to it. We became endurance runners. Natural selection further created the Homo Sapien.
Throughout the evolutionary process we humans have grown longer legs, smaller heads, leaner torsos, bigger brains and a big butt. Biologically, this makes it easier for us to maintain our upright mobility and not just walk, but run. We developed larger knee joints, hip joints and ankle joints and new tendons and ligaments (like the achilles and nuchal ligaments) for better shock absorption as we ran.
Our heads became smaller, our faces flatter and less pronounced, shifting the centre of mass and making it easier to balance during the bobbing motion of running.
We grew less body hair and developed sweat glands to cool our bodies. As our torsos grew longer and leaner, our shoulders became less robust and muscular, making us less top heavy and our bottoms grew into the largest muscle in the human body which all lead to produce an upright, well balanced, smart, endurance running hunter/gatherer.
All those years ago, running was associated with survival.
Now, in the 21st century, what is running? For some, it's a competitive sport, for others, it's purely recreational. And some will only run in a desperate plea to catch the last bus home. Some love it. Some hate it. Some can't be bothered with it. Some can't live without it. Some are intrigued by it, while others are challenged by it. Some are repelled by it and find it just plain too hard. I have felt all of the above, and I'll tell you why.
Twelve weeks ago, I decided that running 15km, all at one time, was a fantastic idea.
The problem was, I've never been a runner. In fact, for most of my life, I despised running, and when I did run, my results were really quite ordinary, and I gave up easily. During my school days, the cross country and the athletics carnival filled me with anxiety due to the compulsory participation that was required. The mere thought of it filled my head with thoughts of pain, exhaustion and the complete opposite of fun. I can honestly say I hated it, I hated the thought of it and couldn't understand why people did it for fun. What was wrong with them!? Now, thinking about it with my middle-aged mind, I think I was jealous that it came so easily to them, however, I still wasn't curious enough to try.
Obviously, I'd already decided that it was not something I enjoyed so why bother? You may be wondering, why now? Quite simply, I'm not getting any younger, cardio fitness is more important to me now than it's ever been and it's something that I desperately would love to enjoy.
So, there I was, with this commitment firmly in place, about to run for the first time in over a year. On 26 October, I recorded 3.55km, confirming that my crazy journey had commenced. And true to my expectations, I collapsed in a heap at the end as if to mark the kick off with dramatic conception. If I were on a treadmill, I guarantee I would've bailed within the first 1000m. The only reason I didn't was pure strategy. Run away from home so that the only way to finish was to turn around and put one foot in front of the other. My lungs burned the whole way back. My leg muscles were like jelly and sore for the next 48 hours, but it didn't stop me from running/walking a further 3.5km four days later, making a grand total of 7km for October. In the beginning, I struggled physically but mostly mentally. I learned to control my breathing. That's what makes the difference for me. It's all about the breathing. Control, hold and release. I love how my body and my mind responds. I can then focus on every minute of my run, rather than pine over the finish line a vast distance away.
In November, I clocked 37km, in December, I ran 90.5km, and so far in January, I've put 42.8km behind me. Sounds awesome, doesn't it?
Though, my relationship with running continues on its roller coaster ride, I must tell you, this isn't the first time I've attempted to join the running train.
Almost 18 months ago, I set a goal to run 10km. I ran in little snippets, focused on a mission trying to convince myself that it was for a good cause. But I was not having fun. At all. Then one day, I ran on the beach 5km down, which meant I had no option but to run 5km to get back home. I made it, I felt accomplished, and I was very proud of myself, but I couldn't breathe, my lungs were on fire, and my entire body felt like I'd exploited every muscle and every joint. I was exhausted, physically and mentally. I succeeded and ran the 10km I set out to but the problem was I still hated running. The whole process to get to this point was painful. Mentally and physically. I didn't focus on the journey with any optimism, and my inability to change my attitude exacerbated the process 100%.
Every time I put my running shoes on, I was filled with dread. Before I'd taken the first step, I'd convinced myself it was going to suck and that I was going to struggle through the next however many minutes to get to the end of the run. But then it would all be over and I could pat myself on the back, rejoice, and tick off another leg towards trying to run.
This journey is completely different. I want to fly on my feet! I want to run at speed with my best mate right beside me, or behind me in my dust, haha. He is a great runner and inspired me to give running another crack. To begin with, I chose to use an app that offers a training program. I made a conscious decision to get myself into a routine and focus on my goal (love running!). Within a week or two I realised that the early morning was the best time of the day for me to run.
Before breakfast, between 5.30am and 7am, the streets are quiet, the temperature is cool, and there is often very little wind. The day is fresh, new, and wonderful. I give myself no opportunity to make excuses, or the rest of my day will begin to present jobs, tasks, conversations, and chores that always seem to become a priority over my run for the day. So, I try not to think. I set my alarm, and when Lee Bryce starts singing 'A Woman Like You', I put my feet on the floor, put on my running gear, have a drink of water, and I'm out the door. Depending on my route, I will often see the sunrise over the hills. It is something else I tell ya. Just beautiful.
Fast forward another week, I have run 177.5km in the last 12 weeks and have crossed the 15km finishing line. Funnily enough, I feel like I remember almost every kilometre. This journey, unlike the last, has been empowering and enlightening. However, it's not been easy by any stretch of the imagination. Someone wise has said to me every time I complain about how hard it is, that if it were easy, everybody would be doing it. They are right.
What I've learned is that running isn't just about running. Originally, my aim was to train my body, but what I didn't realise was, is that I would be training my mind as well. I know now, there is so much more to the 'why'. It's not just about cardio fitness and my desperation to enjoy something I've hated my whole life. Firstly, I've proven to myself that I can do it. I can climb the hill, get over that mountain, and jump for joy. But, most importantly, I've given myself the opportunity to be kind to myself. Yes, be kind to myself. I've stolen time for my runs and allowed myself to be completely present in each one. Some have been fantastic, exciting, and powerful, and some have been terribly hard and more challenging than ever.
I remember on one particular run, every cell in my body was against it. I was feeling the melancholiest I'd felt for a long while, and I had but the meekest sprinkle of a sprinkle of motivation. I got up, put on my joggers, and walked out into the cool morning air. Tears ran down my cheeks as I sobbed and cried. I think I ran/walked around 4km that day, but emotionally, I was at the end of my tether; I felt helpless and exhausted.
Running is known to prompt the body to release chemicals called endorphins, which not only interact with receptors in the brain to reduce the perception of pain, but they also contribute to feelings of euphoria. Science states that endorphins are structurally very similar to morphine and that when they are triggered, stress levels decrease and will often leave people with a 'feel good' happy feeling. What did I have to lose? Nothing. And yes, I felt much better for it.
Running hasn't just increased my fitness level; it's encouraged me to take one day at a time and to stop giving myself such a hard time.
Running is about life. People talk about how mindful and relaxing the art of meditation is. I never got a handle on it, to be honest. But if meditation is about achieving a mentally clear, emotionally calm and grounded mind, then running for me is like meditating.
As I practice my running step and feel the pain in my body, my mind now goes through a de-fragmentation process. This journey has helped me understand that fear is my nemesis. Fear of failure. Fear of succeeding. Fear of trying. So, I'm going to keep running and keep building my endorphin-fueled self-esteem.
Running is about life. Embrace it. Breathe through it. Reap the benefits physically and mentally.
Hey, go chase a mammoth.
Trust yourself, be honest with yourself and believe in yourself.
Hey, if I can do it, so can you.